


Everything Hurts

by MakingStarsShine



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:43:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9190133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakingStarsShine/pseuds/MakingStarsShine
Summary: This was a request made by @maryjanewannabe for a fic with the starters “everything hurts” and “I don’t even know why you bother with me anymore“ so here it is, took a while, but like I said, life, work, stuff. Anyway, hope you enjoy!





	

“What are you doing here?”

 

You swallowed at his question, the look on his face a toss up between annoyed or just tired, you weren’t entirely sure. Either way, you’d come to far to turn and run now, so you took a deep breath and smiled.

 

“Surprise?” you said hesitantly, holding up the grocery bag in your hand, “I brought pizza, chocolate, and booze for sharing…” you lowered the bag as he continued to squint at you, “or y’know…not sharing if you don’t want to…”

 

Cisco blinked slowly, looking vaguely like that grumpy cat from the internet, then he raked a hand through his tousled hair and sighed, “Sorry I just…I haven’t been sleeping,” he shook his head, a pitiful smile coming to his lips, “what I meant was why didn’t you call or something?”

 

Your smile fell a little as you looked him over. He was in his pajamas, which looked like he’d been in them for a few days, that coupled with the state of his hair and the faint smell of stale sweat wafting from him gave you the impression that he probably would have preferred a chance to shower before you arrived, or more accurately the chance to try to hide just how bad he’d let himself go since the night of the accident. “If I called, it wouldn’t have been a surprise,” you replied with a shrug, hoping he wasn’t too upset.

 

The pitiful little smile grew into something more real as he nodded, “Well you’re not wrong,” he agreed. You held up the grocery bag again and put on your best cute pouty face, the one that always made him laugh before. He knew what you were doing immediately and he narrowed his eyes, the smile growing even more as he stepped aside, “come on,” he sighed, ushering you inside, “you know where everything is, just…let me shower ok?”

 

“Ok,” you agreed happily, glad that your surprise plan had worked. You missed Cisco, he hadn’t been to Star Labs in three weeks, and while you knew he needed time to grieve for his brother, that didn’t make his absence any less difficult. You stopped short as you entered his kitchen, two full trash bags sat tied up next to his trash can, the can itself jammed with take out boxes and empty bottles of soda and beer. The sink was empty accept for a few dozen chopsticks and a disposable plastic plate, the package it had come from sat on the kitchen table with a tiny mountain of Chinese food condiment packets and fortune cookies. Clearly Cisco had not left his apartment in a while, and it broke your heart just a little bit to think of him shut in here all alone for the past three weeks.

 

Cisco and his brother had never really been close, everyone who knew Cisco knew that family holidays were his worst nightmare, but Dante was his brother, whether they got along or not didn’t matter now that he was gone. The night it happened, Cisco had been with you and the others, all of you in the cortex talking about your next move against Zoom. Cisco had been in the middle of speaking when the vibe had hit him, then suddenly his legs gave out and he’d screamed Dante’s name, his whole body shaking as the grief overloaded his brain and he went into a seizure. He didn’t wake up until the next day, and by then it was too late, Dante was gone and Cisco had missed any chance he had to say goodbye. Three weeks later you still couldn’t imagine how that must have felt for him, but that wasn’t going to stop you from trying to cheer him up, it was the least you could do for him after everything he’d done for the team.

 

You put the frozen pizza you’d brought in the oven just as Cisco came out of the bathroom, scrubbing a towel against his hair as he entered the kitchen. “So that’s how you dry your hair,” you mused as he put the towel over the back of a chair, “I always pictured you putting it up in a towel turban like I do.”

 

Cisco frowned at you, “You’ve imagined what I do when I get out of the shower?” he asked.

 

You shrugged, “What? You and I both know your hair is borderline majestic, I’m just trying to piece together how you do it without raiding your bathroom.” Cisco snorted and shook his head as he moved beside you, peering into the bag you’d brought. Having him so close, you felt a sudden urge to hug him, so you did, pouncing on him from behind, the smell of his shampoo overwhelming your nose. He immediately groaned in pain, making you jump back as he doubled over against the counter. “Oh my god are you ok?!” you asked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to-”

 

“It’s fine, not your fault,” he quickly assured you, straightening up as he put a hand against the small of his back. He groaned again, but softer, his face scrunching up as he turned to you. At the concerned look on your face he gave you a half smile, “One of the side effects of grief,” he explained leaning back against the counter, “I think the official term for it is ‘malaise’, but basically…everything hurts.” You continued to frown at him, feeling guilty for aggravating whatever pain you hadn’t known he was in, but also feeling your heart breaking just a little more at the thought of him being in that much physical pain on top of the emotional pain he was going through. Your eyes began to burn as tears threatened to fall, but you fought them off as hard as you could, after all you came here to cheer him up, how were you supposed to do that if you were crying?

 

Cisco seemed to sense something was wrong, so he opened his arms and motioned for you to come to him, “Can I have another hug?” he asked softly. You nodded and moved into him, wrapping your arms around his back as gently as you could as his arms wrapped around you in turn. He sighed in your ear, his chin resting heavily on your shoulder, “Mmm, thank you,” he murmured, his arms tightening ever so slightly, “for all of this, not just the hug,” he added making you smile.

 

“Friends don’t let friends be sad alone,” you replied, your voice slightly muffled against his shoulder.

 

He chuckled softly, “Yeah I know,” he said, “but I feel kinda bad for not reaching out to you guys…as you can see by the state of my kitchen I’ve been engaging in a full on downward spiral,”

 

You knew he was trying to be funny, but you didn’t laugh, instead you pulled back and gave him a serious look, “Cisco, I didn’t come here to make you feel guilty for not responding to text messages, or for not reaching out to me or the team, I came here because I wanted to see you,” you put your hands on his shoulders and smiled, “we miss you at the lab, but we don’t expect you to come back until you’re ready, so until you feel ready don’t worry about it.”

 

Cisco nodded, looking down as his eyes began to fill with tears, “You’re right,” he agreed, taking a shaky breath in, “I just… when I found you at my door…” his voice was dissolving into garbled sobs, the last words you were able to understand were, “I don’t even know why you bother with me anymore,” then his hands were over his face as his body shook with sobs.

 

You immediately pulled him close again, hugging him tight as he cried, “It’s ok Cisco, I’m right here, I know it hurts,” you whispered in his ear, stroking his back as he clung to you. This was not part of your plan, you hadn’t meant to make him cry, you weren’t even sure if it was your fault, but you were sure this was what he needed, so you held him until the shaking stopped, and the sound of muffled sniffling could be heard from where he’d buried his face against your shoulder.

 

He pulled back, face and eyes red and puffy as he looked at you, “There’s some uh…snot on your shirt,” he told you sheepishly, sniffling as he pointed to the wet spot near your armpit.

 

You made a face and shrugged, “That’s what washing machines are for,”

 

He nodded, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms, “I’m…I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to deal with me like this -” he began, but you took his face in your hands shaking your head.

 

“Cisco I’m not ‘dealing’ with you, I’m here because I wanted to see you, no matter what sate you’re in,” you used your thumbs to wipe the residual tear trails from his cheeks, “I already told you, friends don’t let friends be sad alone,” you reached behind him then, pulling out two bottles of beer from the bag behind him, “so be sad if you need to, be angry, be confused or all of the above, I’ll be here.” You clinked the bottles of beer in front of him with a smile, and he smiled back even though it was small.

 

He took one of the bottles from your hand and fished a bottle opener out of the drawer, “Thank you,” he said, his eyes softening as you toasted each other and drank. He glanced down at your shirt with a frown, “I’m gonna get you a clean shirt,” he decided setting his bottle down, “and a blanket.”

 

“What’s the blanket for?” you asked curiously, as you checked on the pizza in the oven.

 

“Are you kidding? This apartment is freezing,” he called back over his shoulder, “you wanna sit and watch movies with cold toes be my guest, I’m gonna get a blanket though.”

 

You smiled to yourself, the thought of watching movies while eating pizza and drinking beer with your best friend sounding wonderful right about now. With a clean shirt on and a blanket to curl up under, you and Cisco set up yourselves up in the living room, Cisco deciding to put in the new Star Wars movie claiming he’d seen it so many times he didn’t have to really pay attention to know what was happening. Less than halfway through you felt the weight of him leaning heavily against your side, and when you turned, you realized he’d fallen asleep. You smiled softly as you repositioned, moving so that he could lay on you more comfortably. You had intended to cheer him up when you arrived, thinking maybe you could get him to give you a real genuine smile at least once while you were there, but helping him get a few restful hours of sleep for the first time in three weeks while being able to make sure he was ok? Yeah…you’d settle for that.


End file.
